I came across this in my diary today and had to share it with you….
January 30, 2008
11:03 p.m.
I had theeeee most exhausting day at work… I honestly thought it was never going to end. My girl Nikki B. had invited me over to her place for dinner and convo, which was exactly what I needed. As soon as my boss left, I grabbed my jacket, shut off my comp, and jetted out of the office (not even saying bye to my co workers) It had just been one of those days…you know?
As Nikki was preparing dinner we got into a somewhat deep conversation about what we wanted out of life,what our goals were, where we wanted to live and who we wanted to be with. I vented to her about the lack of “good” men in my life, either they had baby mama’s, still lived with their mama, were ‘gay”, or had absolutely no ambition. “I can’t go on like this,” I said to her. As I was pondering on just settling with my ex and accepting him and the drama that followed, Nikki said the most brilliant statement-ever. It went a little something like this;
‘You know what’s funny as women we generally put so much effort into everything that we do. When were looking for a college we seek out only the best schools who will fit what were looking for. When were looking for a job, we want to work at the best company, firm, store….whatever. Whether were looking for a house or shopping for some new jeans were always seeking out the best. However, when it comes to relationships, a boo, a man, etc…we settle and accept it. Why do we do that? Why is it ok to put our all and give our best to everything but love? I mean seriously Mia, be your own recruiter!’
Wow, I really couldn’t have said it any better myself….from this day forward I promise I will no longer settle. For 23 years that’s absolutely what I’ve been doing, settling and accepting. I don’t know why I’ve done it, maybe for the sake of comfort or just to say I have someone special. In the long run I just end up unfilled and unhappy…and that won’t work, not now or ever. Talk about a lesson for the new year!
January 30, 2008
11:03 p.m.
I had theeeee most exhausting day at work… I honestly thought it was never going to end. My girl Nikki B. had invited me over to her place for dinner and convo, which was exactly what I needed. As soon as my boss left, I grabbed my jacket, shut off my comp, and jetted out of the office (not even saying bye to my co workers) It had just been one of those days…you know?
As Nikki was preparing dinner we got into a somewhat deep conversation about what we wanted out of life,what our goals were, where we wanted to live and who we wanted to be with. I vented to her about the lack of “good” men in my life, either they had baby mama’s, still lived with their mama, were ‘gay”, or had absolutely no ambition. “I can’t go on like this,” I said to her. As I was pondering on just settling with my ex and accepting him and the drama that followed, Nikki said the most brilliant statement-ever. It went a little something like this;
‘You know what’s funny as women we generally put so much effort into everything that we do. When were looking for a college we seek out only the best schools who will fit what were looking for. When were looking for a job, we want to work at the best company, firm, store….whatever. Whether were looking for a house or shopping for some new jeans were always seeking out the best. However, when it comes to relationships, a boo, a man, etc…we settle and accept it. Why do we do that? Why is it ok to put our all and give our best to everything but love? I mean seriously Mia, be your own recruiter!’
Wow, I really couldn’t have said it any better myself….from this day forward I promise I will no longer settle. For 23 years that’s absolutely what I’ve been doing, settling and accepting. I don’t know why I’ve done it, maybe for the sake of comfort or just to say I have someone special. In the long run I just end up unfilled and unhappy…and that won’t work, not now or ever. Talk about a lesson for the new year!
2 comments:
Here we go again. Say this with me: the man chases the women. Not the other way around. MH, what world, what city, what universe are you and Nikki B. in?
i think your misunderstanding...its not about chasing a man...its more about knowing what you want and not settling for less.
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