Some Words of Wisdom

I'm swamped at work today, but I wanted to share some of my favorite Rev. Run words of wisdom that start me off every morning. Check them out....




Thursday, July 31, 2008
Good morning. Once in a while, throughout the day, stop, sit down, and become aware of your breathing for a few seconds or minutes. Watch your breath go in and out. Fully accept the present moment and the way you are feeling. Do not try or wish for anything to change, JUST BREATHE, LET GO AND LET GOD.

God is LoveRev Run




Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Good morning. Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic! Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. -Ralph Waldo Emerson.

God is LoveRev Run



Good morning. Life is like riding a bike.... to stay balanced you've got to keep moving. -Albert Einstein

God is LoveRev Run


Good morning. Fulfillment is wanting more but being content and at peace with what you have- being internally, and eternally happy, regardless of circumstance or the people involved.

God is LoveRev Run


Good morning. In our feverency, passion and enthusiasm for a goal, it is easy to fall into the trap of hurrying. I am not commending laziness. Nobody admires slow-moving. But, your energy, enthusiasm and excitement must wear the harness of accuracy. Punctuality is a great success trait! Moving steadily methodically, and even swiftly is admirable. (But remember!) Hurrying can produce costly mistakes.... Slow down, Think, THEN react! Have a excellent day!

God is LoveRev Run

He Said...She Said...

"Damn" he said holding me close, "you have no idea how much I missed you."

"I missed you too..." I replied, hoping he couldn't see that I didn't mean it.

"You look great...really great," he said. I shrugged my shoulders and softly replied "thanks".

I knew what was coming next, the apology. For an entire hour straight (I said not one word) he went on and on about how much I meant to him, how much he needed me, and how much he loved me. His life just wasn't the same without me. I felt no butterflies, no excitement, no anything, although he was saying exactly what I wanted him to say. I actually just wanted him to leave and get the hell out. However, I sat there pretending to listen intently as he put his head in my lap.

He said: You know you're the only one for me, right?

She said: (I nodded)

He said: Let's go to bed.

She said: (I just nodded...again)

*I got in on my side, saying nothing, and turned over. I could feel him staring at my back, I didn't care.*

He said: I don't have your heart anymore, do I?

She said: Nope

He said: That Hurts

She said: Yea I know

He said: How do I get it back?

She said: You can't

I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer that he would be gone when I woke up...and then I slept peacefully.

Who's going to save my soul..Gnarls Barkley

Higher..and Higher...

Ok..I have to focus..so I'm not going to post as frequently...sorrrrrrrrrrry:)



I'm gettin' higher
Closer to my dreams
I'm getting higher and higher
Feel it in my sleep

Some times it feels like I'll never go pass here
Some times it feels like I'm stuck forever and ever

But, I'm going higher
Closer to my dreams
I'm goin' higher and higher
I can almost reach

This one is for you K-Swift...

I still remember the summer of 03 like it was yesterday. My girls and I had finally "made" it out of high school. All that mattered to us was having lots and lots of fun, staying out way to late, sneaking out of the house, spending time with our high school loves, and having a flyy ass outfit to wear to Hammerjax every Sunday. We hit up H&M, Wet Seal, Arden B., Rampage and Forever 21 to find a cute but affordable outfit to wear to our favorite spot. After spending way to much time in the mall, we would all pile in my bff's car, affectionately known as the "gangsta Galant." Beyonce had just released Crazy in Love and it was our official anthem of the summer.

We sped down the streets of Baltimore blasting the club mix that K-Swift was sending thru our airwaves. Man we thought we were tooo flyyy and absolutely no one in the world could tell us otherwise. You would have thought we were celebrities the way we ran up on the guards at Hammerjax like they were our best friends. Our crew stuck together waving and hugging people as we made our way to the "stage." Baltimore "socialites" always frequented the stage and we def. fit the bill (or so we thought).

The baltimore beats would run thru our vains as we sweated our new do's out doing the latest dance. Quicksilva and K-Swift always played the new and old Baltimore club mixes, they made us feel as if we were in a world of our own and no one else could enter.


At promptly 2:30 a.m. every sunday, the club lights came on, and K-Swift would yell "one more". We gave it our all doing the last two step of the night, laughing the whole time. After flirting with the guys from the let out, we piled back into the gangsta Galant and made our way to "Double T Diner."

"So", I would ask over bacon, pankcakes, and O.J., "What yall wearing next Sunday?"

You are missed...

I Need to Get My Life Together

7:15 a.m.

I overslept (per usual) for work this morning. I got up turned to TBS to listen to Saved by the Bell as I got dressed (hey don't judge me it's my thing). I was in the shower for way to long thinking about all the things I "wanted" to accomplish. My head was spinning with ideas and the opportunity to Develop some new t.v. shows. I just couldn't sit still. I smiled as I thought about the convo I had with a new someone last night...he made me smile...I like him.

8:00 a.m.

I noticed new emails flowing in on my phone, as I'm glancing I see one from a lady who wanted me to work for her dept. at a huge t.v. network. I sigh, throw my phone in my purse and run to the car. I know what the email is going to say and it's going to require me to make a decision, which I'm really not in the mood for.

8:30 a.m.

I can't take it anymore. I tear thru my purse to find my phone and read the email. Yep, just as I thought she's offering me the job and with more money (still not as much as I want but it's better than before). There's so many pro's and con's to taking this job and it makes my head spin. I have absolutely no idea what to do. Every time I think I'm on the right track something comes to knock me off course. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful, I just want to make sure I'm making the right decision.

10:30 a.m.

I call my mom (I kind of want her to make the decision for me). "Nope," she tells me. "This is your call, do what's best for you."

It's 1:04 p.m. and I still can't think straight. It seems like everyday is another transition in this 20 something life. If I don't make the right decisions now, I will be hurting for the long haul. Mannnnnn...I need some motivation, some answers, something. I need to get my life together.

***ps. The pic is of Va$htie Kola ( a director, entrepreneur, clothing designer,..the list goes on and on.) She just directed a video for the Madden brothers. She's a young black woman, well respected in the industry, and living out her dreams. I just want to get there...I need to get there.***

WOW

Let It Go

Konrad Jakubowski

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you, let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you,coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean, hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody who left.


The Bible said that they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.


Let them go.


It doesn't mean that they are a bad person; it just means that their part in the story is over.And you've got to know when peoples' part in your story is overso that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.


You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift. I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!

By: T.D. Jakes

When You Make Plans...God Laughs

I collapsed into my bed when I got home from work on Monday night. No, I more like dived into it. I laid on my back and took a deep breath trying to think of nothing, and like clock work my phone rang. I wanted to ignore it so bad, but it was one of my good friends calling to check on me.
"What's up babygirl?" he said a little to loudly into the phone. I couldn't help but smile at his voice, no matter what was going on in life this dude was always happy and it was contagious.

"I don't know what I want anymore," I confessed to him out of no where. My mind had been racing for weeks about all the opportunties that were coming my way out of no where. Although I was grateful, I just couldn't make any decisions. Days before I stared at my computer screen reading about another job offer...I just stared at it and clicked the x button. I didn't want to think, I couldn't think, I felt like a time bomb was ticking away and I had to decide on everything then and now. The problem was I'm not sure where exactly I want to go career wise. I used to have a plan, I had everything all laid out. I was going to move here, work for this company, marry so and so, have a spoiled little girl, and live happily every after.


But as it turns out I couldn't stand living in XXX city (it wasn't what I thought it would be), I'm certainly not going to marry xxx or have any of his children, and I've already worked for xxx company and I have no desire to work for them again. My blueprint for life was totally gone...I had laid it all out..I made plans!

Someone once told me, "When you make plans, God laughs."

I laughed at the time when I heard that, thinking it was a joke, well as it turns out the joke was on me. My friend brought me back to reality when he said in a confident voice, "Stop being so damn scared!"

"What!?!" I exclaimed, "I'm not scared, what are you talking about?" He explained to me how I was always running from everything. "That's what you do," he said "you run from things when you have to make a decision, when you get scared, or when something doesn't go your way, you just run." I sighed, knowing in the back of my mind that he was right.

"Stop being afraid of your own power, hell stop being afraid of your blessings. It's right there for you to reach out and grab but your scared to do it because it wasn't what you planned or what you thought it should be, that's not how life works babygirl. I've watched you grow over the years and your ready. You have nothing holding you back except for yourself. So stop sitting there complaining about what could have been, what should have been, and just go out there and claim what's already yours."


I mentally threw my blueprint in the garbage can and ran to catch up on the path that God had already laid out. Now all I have to do is follow it.

He called it love..I called it crazy...

I rushed out of my office building in the middle of Columbia Circle and went next door to the Samsung store. I had at least 3 bags in my hand, my phone wouldn't stop ringing, and I had a headache out of this world. Although I was in a rush to get the heck out of there to make the LIRR on time, I waited patiently for the manager with a smile on my face. After all this guy was allowing me to film my final project in his store so I couldn't rush him.

I plumped down in front of one of their many computer screens and began to surf the net, I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked up to find a teddy bear (that's what he looked like) staring down at me. "Yes, can I help you?" I said to him confused. "Sorry, to bother you, I just wanted to talk to you for a second." He went on to tell me how he had watched me stomp into the store and just wanted to know what was wrong. I looked at this incredibly well dressed man (stranger) and said "that's none of your business now is it?" Mind you I said this with a serious attitude. He smiled, and then I smiled. We talked for 10 more minutes and exhanged numbers. "Dag," I thought to myself he got me...but I'm glad he did.

After weeks of conflicting schedules, we finally met up to go out. He took me to a small romantic Italian reasturant and even ordered for me. To say the least...I was impressed. Over dinner we talked about everything from our futures, to who and what we wanted to be. He was an NYU Med school student and he wanted to save lives. That alone...warmed my heart. For the rest of the evening, we talked and laughed, and had a beautiful night.

For the first time in a long time, I felt giddy.

For the next couple of weeks we were inseprable and then slowly but surely I found out everything he told me was a lie. After our first three weeks of dating, he started buying me things. Not just random things, but clothes, shoes, jewelry, and they were all expensive. At first I demanded that he take it back, I wasn't the type of girl that needed a man to buy me anything. However, he wasn't having it, he insisted that it was a gift. So after awhile, I just gave in. For some reason (guilt) I never wore anything that he bought me (with the exception of the Prada shoes, a girl can't resist Prada!). I let everything pile up in my room, until one day I added everything up and realized he had spent thousands of dollars on me.

I called him and said listen, we have to talk. I knew I had to end things with him, because something just wasn't right. As I was explaining how I felt over dinner, tears welled up in his eyes and he told me he was "sorry." He had a rough life, and he wasn't really an NYU med student at all, actually he never even attended college. He thought if I knew all this that I would never accept him and that's why he lied.

WTH

He then proceeds to pull out a little black box (from Zales) and ask me to please except it as a token of his apology and as a promise ring that I will be his forever. I look at him like he's completely lost his mind...and tell him flat out, "no." He starts crying...again. But, "I love you" he says thru tears. I stare at him and give him a nice pat on the hand, and tell him I have to go...he starts crying harder.


"Check"," I yelled (way to loudly) to the waitress.

As I walked (ran) to the subway I said a silent prayer asking God to please let that be the last crazy one...please.

Since I'm so busy....The Man Mannual by Belle

I'm feeling overwhelmed this week...with everything. It's been a year since I've graduated and I still can't seem to find the balance between work and life. I'm exhausted, fatigued, and just plain out of it. However, I'll be better in a couple of days! In the meantime check out the man mannual written by one of my favorites, Belle. Enjoy....

1. If you date one, and you are a good woman, and ya'll stop dealing, he will come back. It might take a year, it might take a decade, it might just take a day. But he will come back. (That does not mean you have to take him though.)


2. Men like monochromatic colors. I can't figure this one out. I think this has to do with us looking less busy so they aren't distracted from our bodies and faces. Not sure. White seems to be their favorite though.

3. They like compliments. A lot. Thing is few people ever say anything nice to them about them. They respond like dry plants to water when you tell them they look nice, smell nice, did something well.

4. Sports are male soap operas or reality TV for men. (Thanks, Tariq.) Once he put it context, I got it. Think about it. Now doesn't the obsession make sense?

5. Men like to play sports, then talk about it for hours afterward-- even if they won. It's like us gathering to discuss a first date with a boy, except they don't mention feelings.

6. Men talk about relationships constantly. Just not with the woman their dating and it's all action oriented. (No feeling talk.)

7. Despite never talking about feelings, they have them. Lots of them. And the more alpha ones are more sensitive than the most feminine women. They've been taught not to express them since somewhere around age 3-4 at the latest. You have to look for the symptoms of feelings to figure out what's wrong. (They vary from man to man, but giving off heat when upset seems to be universal. Men can make a room hot as Hades when they're brooding. TLA ain't got ish on Storm (X-Men) when he's upset.)

8. They want to do good (like superheroes) and make you happy. They honestly don't know how sometimes. You have to tell them what you want. And damn near applaud when they try, even if they mess up. They're trying dammit.


9. They don't need to be reminded of our strength. If they're smart, they know women are emotionally tougher. They just don't want it thrown in their faces. It makes them feel weak/ resentful when you do. Go ahead and woman up without telling them your blatantly doing it. They'll respect it (and follow your lead) a lot more.


10. They hate being yelled at and or nagged. Do you like it? See. They're not children and if you ask them to do something, they either will or won't. If he won't do it on your time table, then do it yourself. All that matters is that it gets done.


11. They always tell us we think too much, but they think a lot. Videogames are a distraction from all that thinking. (They’re still thinking) So is driving. And they do a lot of thinking in the shower and while aimlessly watching movies. I don’t know if men know how to be spontaneous. They think about everything. Trust me.


12. They have no desire to be held. This seems so weird to me. I guess because I love being in the nook so much I can't imagine anyone wouldn't. It seems men are just fine doing the holding. (Every man I've ever asked "don't you ever want to be held?" Has looked at me like I'm stupid or blurted, "what am I? A child?"

13. Sex can be just an act, like eating a sandwich or going to shoot hoops. That doesn't excuse cheating, of course, but that also doesn't mean because he has sex with you that he feels anything for you. Two separate things with men.


14.They like to protect you from the big bad world. I have no idea exactly what I am being protected from by him walking on the outside, but it seems to make them feel manly to feel like they are doing something. I've been crossing the street by myself for two decades, but suddenly when I'm with a man, he must become a barrier between me and the oncoming traffic. It would exhaust me to pay attention to this and keep switching sides. It gives them purpose. Fine. Whatever makes you happy. (This is me choosing not to fight this battle.)


There's more..but I'll post later!!

Just because I love it...

The only thing I want to swing from..is located in a park....

I was a bit disturbed yesterday as I rode home listening to my main man Michael Baisden (I love him!). He was discussing with his callers the subject of "swinging." If you're not familiar with the term, it basically means that although you are in a marriage/relationship your partner and you agree that it's ok to sleep with other consenting adults. It's just sex...right? Uh NO, well in my case anyway.

The discussion came about to do to a recent Will Smith interview where he admits that him and his wife Jada have a very open relationship and that they are honest with each other when they are attracted to other people. I'm all for honesty in any relationship, but sleeping with other people...no that's not going to fly especially in a marriage. We're all human and it's in our nature to be attracted to a good looking individual, but sleeping with them is something else.


I couldn't imagine waking up to the man I love every morning, and being fully aware that he is sleeping with other women. What kind of marriage is that? A marriage is sacred, it's a gift, it's a union, where you spend the rest of your life loving and cherishing the person next to you. It's not a game where you can just do what you want. It's a serious commitment that you make before God.


I love you Will and Jada, but the swinging thing, I can't get down with.

Wait On It

(Photo: Alec Wek, an great woman, with an amazing story)

I couldn't help but giggle when I hung up the phone with a young lady from my Alma Mater. She had recently graduated and was on a serious job hunt. She explained to me all the things she wanted to do..and she wanted it all now!

I pondered on everything I used to feel when I had that "undergrad" mentality. You know, the I can do anything feeling because you did so much in college. You had great internships, you did this, you did that, and so on and so on. Your family and friends fill your head with how wonderful you are and that you can get any job you want to...right? Ehhhhhhhh..not so fast. I learned a very hard lesson my last two years of undergrad and that is you must not only wait on your blessings, but you have to work hard for them.

I had done it all in undergrad,served on the e-board of numerous clubs, joined the BEST sorority (don't hate) this side of Earth, held numerous internships, and made great connections. When I walked across the stage I felt it was my right to get that instant gratification. After all...I had EARNED it...not.



Although I can't really talk about my first job in detail, I can say that it helped me to realize that I hadn't earned a damn thing in college. Although I had done my best that didn't mean I deserved some instant gratification. I had to start from the bottom and work my way up just like everyone else. A year later I am being blessed abundantly with opportunities, but I'm still climbing that ladder.


The best advice I can give to you new graduates is to go after everything you want in life and give your all to it. Do it with confidence, Do it with faith, but most importantly do it with humbleness.



Ps. The picture is of Alec Wek, a famous model who came all the way from Sudan with nothing. She had a vision and drive that is so rare. Her success didn't happen over night, she had to wait on it...

When I was a little girl...

(Photo: Archan Nair)


I feel like I was lost everytime I think about the situation, about what happened, about what was, about what I let be. Why did it take so long for me to come to my senses? Out of all the things you said to me, the way you hurt me, the way you made me feel. I let you degrade me, I let you talk down to me, I let you treat me that way. For six long years my heart ached. I fought for you. I hurt others who loved me...just for you. I was fighting a losing battle of trying to make something work that was never meant to be. When you met me I was a little girl..with little girl thoughts..and a little girl mind. What I hate most is that I let you in...you saw me grow..you saw me transform. Against my better judgement I let you take credit for my growth..when the reality is I hadn't grown at all...because you wouldn't let me. I allowed you to hold me back, to consume my thoughts, and to make me feel bad about who I was. It was as if I enjoyed the imprisonment that you held me in for so long. After 6 years, thousands of tearful nights, and weeks of pain. I put my little girl thoughts and my little girl mentality away and walked towards my future.



For the first time in life...I felt like a woman.

I Never want to be a "Baby Mama"

I couldn't wait for the wonderful food that Fourth of July would bring my way. I mean this is the time of the year that my family and friends throw down on the grill and inside the kitchen. It took me about 2 days to figure out what my special fourth of July outfit would be, not because I wanted to be flyy, but because I wanted to be comfortable for all the food I would be gulping down...no lie (lol). So I settled on a loose fitting summer mini dress that complimented me well.

I had just gotten my hair done the day before and I was feeling and looking good. I arrived at my families house and they told me how great I looked and also managed to mention that I gained weight (sigh..I know I know). My godmother quickly chimed in that I had actually lost weight in the last few months and she thought I looked better than ever (thank God someone loves me).However, I couldn't be to mad at my fam for making those comments. I danced til I was 18 years old and always had a dancers body. Their used to me always being in shape, so I understand their concern.Although I'm still rocking the single digits size wise...geeesh! I was only sitting down for two minutes when I got the dreaded "where's your date question?" ahhhhhh...

"I don't have a date," I replied with a smile. "You know Sweetie, we're waiting on you to bring some rich white wealthy man in here, that's who you're going to marry a rich white man." My aunt said this with confidence, and the entire room nodded in agreement. I laughed nervously and went to fix myself a plate. " "Damn", is all I could think to myself. Is this what I have to deal with now, I just graduated from undergrad a year ago! Surely my family couldn't expect me to be settled so quickly. I had trouble committing to all these "adult" bills let alone a man.

"Black men will find you intimidating," my family said later that night....but hey that's a ANOTHER blog for another day.

An hour or so later more people started to arrive, I was thrilled when my god sister and brother came to rescue me from the 20 questions that everyone was asking me. I quickly grabbed her hand and went outside in the backyard. Two couples, all in their early and late thirties showed up next. One of the woman I'd known all my life, but I'd never seen any of the people with her. I caught one of the dudes staring at me a little bit to hard when his girl walked away. I avoided eye contact and busied myself with the baby girl that had also just arrived.

A few hours and to many drinks later, everyone was full and a little to happy off all the alcohol. We were joking, laughing, and having a good time. I was still trying to avoid eye contact with the same guy who was becoming more drunk and loud by the minute. His "babies mother" was sitting close to him and they were going back and forth about how she had apparently broken his cell phone. She was also cooing him to please come back to her place instead of going to his own. Actually she was kind of begging....it was quite sad.


I could tell from the jump that this girl didn't like me. I had no idea why, but I paid her no mind. "Hi Hater." I for damn sure didn't want her hood baby father or anything that her life entailed. Now don't get me wrong, I know plenty of wonderful single mothers who are doing a great job raising their child by there lonesome. We all get caught up, make mistakes, life happens...so I get that. We're human...you're human...I'm human.

As I was sitting there watching the desperation in her eyes and voice asking him to come over...I said a little prayer to God asking Him to never let that be me. I don't want a baby father, a homie, a friend. I want a husband, a companion, a best friend, and someone who WANTS to be there. I don't want to break his phone because chicks that he has on the side are calling him or feel insecure around another woman that's ten years younger than me. If it's meant for me to be a mother, a wife, and everything that it entails..I just pray that I can do it the right way. I never want to just be a "Baby Mama."

Fear

Every week a friend who I admire sends out her "Life Chronicles" via email to a random group of people. I look forward to reading them and they always leave me pondering about life in general. A few days ago she asked us all one question, "What would you do if you weren't Afraid?"


I quickly hit the x button so I wouldn't have to think about that question. I turned on my television to avoid thinking about it further, I did everything to not think about the question she had left us with. My mind begin to race and I started pacing my apartment with my mind drifting to all the things I would do if I wasn't afraid...


The first thought that came to mind was that I would completely walk away from him...let him go..never look back and say good riddance. If I wasn't afraid that is. I'd go after my wildest dreams, and stop making excuses and putting them on hold, if I wasn't afraid that is. I'd write and I mean really write. The kind of writing where I don't hold back, if I wasn't afraid that is. I'd be healthier, work out, eat right, live right, if I wasn't afraid that is. I'd be nicer, I'd let my guard down, I wouldn't judge so much, if I wasn't afraid that is. I'd rebuild my relationship with God, I'd be sincere in my prayers, I'd have faith again, if I wasn't afraid that is.


What would you do if you weren't afraid?