"I’m curtsie-ing center stage after a mediocre performance. I don't expect an ovation. Please save any applause."

i got the title of my blog from one of my very favorite writers..Belle. It honestly describes the mood i'm in right about now. Last week had to be one of the worst weeks of my life...

Situation 1

I was getting my hair done last weekend (minding my business) when I got a really disturbing message from my ex's ex...ok I know that sounds crazy-but she's crazy. To make a long story short I got caught in the middle of a situation that I frankly had nothing to do with. She's a very possessive woman and was upset to know that my ex still had feelings for me. (altho this is none of her business because he's not in a relationship with her or anyone else for that matter) Anyway it was alot of going back and forth..and arguing for nothing actually. Such a waste of time. That in itself stressed me out-and took me 10 steps backwards from where I needed to be.

Situation 2

Once again- I'm doing my best to mind my business on Monday and go about life...when a dude that I used to date contacts me from out of no where. I haven't heard from him in months. He tells me that he now has a child (wtf) but that he can't get me off of his mind and he really wants to work things out-HUH! ugh.

Situation 3

"I met this boy when I was 10 years old-and what i loved the most he had so much soul." That's the song that comes to mind when I think of this dude-and I was actually happy to see his number pop up on my caller i.d. ....he'd always been a great friend and someone I could count on. Although we hadn't spoken in a minute-I was excited just to hear what was going on in his life. We talked and talked about our lives...and then out of no where this FOOL tells me he broke up with his girl and thinks that me and him should work it out (I KID U NOT-ahhhhhhhhhhh). i tell him I have to go-because he to has lost his mind. dammit i can't win

Situation 4

Now this situation isn't so bad-I guess its just the thought of it that stresses me out. Enter "A guy" (read the previous blog if you don't get it.) He's a nice guy, has his own business, very focused, and he treats me well. However, he's extremely cocky and the passion is just lacking which is why I cut him off months ago. However, he to decides to pop back up out of no where. He to misses me-ummmmmmm (by this time i swear ive just lost it-God def has a sense of humor) I agree to have dinner with him later this month (ill let you know how that goes later)>

Situation 5

Enter "c" guy...I realize that this situation is totally all my fault. I met an extremely nice guy and led him on into thinking I was interested when I knew I wasn't. Now I've hurt him-which I feel so bad about.

By friday-I honestly had completely lost my mind. I literally had to turn my phone off just so it would stop ringing. I went to the nail shop forgot my wallet and had not one dime on me-a complete stranger paid for me. I lost my appetite and didn't eat for two days straight. I realized so much in one week that it was emotionally disturbing. I've made so many bad decisions in my life and I've never realized that as much as I did this past week. It was like my past was coming back to me all at once...and everything began to flash in front of me. It's hard to explain the feeling -but it was overwhelming. I'm sooo tired-my spirit-my body-my mind is just tired. I need a break.

"Me time" has never seemed so real.